I had arrived in Tennessee in September so the first holiday was Thanksgiving, definitely a family time. My first Thanksgiving without my children wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, since I had decided to be at my mother's house. The house in Tennessee was tore up from the floor up, literally. A father and son team had been working on tearing up the carpet and laying new hardwood floors. The possibility of them working in the house alone was not even an option, per the family.
As mentioned in a previous post, I was terribly lonely. This was the first time in 25 years, (aka a quarter of a century), that I was living by myself. Three months by myself had not kicked over into a "Freedom Fest" yet. To this day, relatives still laugh about me hopping in the car to attend a same day fish fry. I had driven 4 hours to eat fish at my family's house, when all I really wanted was an excuse to see people, mainly family. It was not a good combination of the house being in a mess and me not adjusting well to my new environment. I didn't know how to slow down or how to enjoy my new "as one" status. Before moving I needed to know what day of the week it was to know what activity I was to attend:
Monday - TAM leadership meeting (Theatrical Arts Ministry)
Tuesday - Possibly free or Video Training
Wednesday - Bible Study
Thursday - G12 (small personal church group meetings) - till it changed days to Friday
Friday - TAM meeting
Saturday - Video Shoots or TAM rehearsals
Sunday - AM & PM church services which included working Video Ministry (live Internet streaming)
Now, all of those meetings and activities were gone. I remember once seeing an insurance story that spoke of the most stressful times in our lives. It went something like this: #1 Divorce/Breakup #2 Bereavement #3 Moving #4 Losing Job #5 Wedding Planning #6 Work #7 Kids/Family #8 Debt #9 Commuting #10 Pregnancy. Of course it's up to debate as to what should be on the list and at what number. But all I knew was that I could check off at least five to six of those items. And, unfortunately, an aunt whom I had visited while relocating to Tennessee passed that same year. She was the aunt that I had been named after, Aunt Jane. She was a lovely lady both inside as well as out.
It was December 2010, and I had driven to relatives to celebrate my first Christmas of the move. My mother had insisted that it was too bad of road conditions to drive her way, so I went to Kentucky instead. I ended up staying a whole week in December which had also included Christmas. But, days after Christmas I opted to go back to Tennessee to continue the house renovation. The father & son team had finished up literally a day before New Years Eve. This had given me the day before and the day of New Year's Eve to pull it back together again. Once I had gotten the furniture moved back into place, it actually looked like a real home, sweet, home. It was New Year's Eve, and what a joy it was to be able to have taken a nice warm shower in the newly painted and floored house. That night, I watched Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve and ran around the house naked, singing and dancing! It was something that I had never been able to do while my children lived with me.
Yes, I had finally realized the beauty of living by myself, I could run around the house naked and screaming if I wanted to! Wow! So I did finally put clothes on that night and called my children 3 hours before their New Years in CA. And I was happy, and they were happy because I was happy! I had finally made some progress and that was a good thing. There I was, I had managed to bring in 2011 with a smile! It was indeed a Happy New Year.
To Be Continued...
As mentioned in a previous post, I was terribly lonely. This was the first time in 25 years, (aka a quarter of a century), that I was living by myself. Three months by myself had not kicked over into a "Freedom Fest" yet. To this day, relatives still laugh about me hopping in the car to attend a same day fish fry. I had driven 4 hours to eat fish at my family's house, when all I really wanted was an excuse to see people, mainly family. It was not a good combination of the house being in a mess and me not adjusting well to my new environment. I didn't know how to slow down or how to enjoy my new "as one" status. Before moving I needed to know what day of the week it was to know what activity I was to attend:
Monday - TAM leadership meeting (Theatrical Arts Ministry)
Tuesday - Possibly free or Video Training
Wednesday - Bible Study
Thursday - G12 (small personal church group meetings) - till it changed days to Friday
Friday - TAM meeting
Saturday - Video Shoots or TAM rehearsals
Sunday - AM & PM church services which included working Video Ministry (live Internet streaming)
Now, all of those meetings and activities were gone. I remember once seeing an insurance story that spoke of the most stressful times in our lives. It went something like this: #1 Divorce/Breakup #2 Bereavement #3 Moving #4 Losing Job #5 Wedding Planning #6 Work #7 Kids/Family #8 Debt #9 Commuting #10 Pregnancy. Of course it's up to debate as to what should be on the list and at what number. But all I knew was that I could check off at least five to six of those items. And, unfortunately, an aunt whom I had visited while relocating to Tennessee passed that same year. She was the aunt that I had been named after, Aunt Jane. She was a lovely lady both inside as well as out.
It was December 2010, and I had driven to relatives to celebrate my first Christmas of the move. My mother had insisted that it was too bad of road conditions to drive her way, so I went to Kentucky instead. I ended up staying a whole week in December which had also included Christmas. But, days after Christmas I opted to go back to Tennessee to continue the house renovation. The father & son team had finished up literally a day before New Years Eve. This had given me the day before and the day of New Year's Eve to pull it back together again. Once I had gotten the furniture moved back into place, it actually looked like a real home, sweet, home. It was New Year's Eve, and what a joy it was to be able to have taken a nice warm shower in the newly painted and floored house. That night, I watched Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve and ran around the house naked, singing and dancing! It was something that I had never been able to do while my children lived with me.
Yes, I had finally realized the beauty of living by myself, I could run around the house naked and screaming if I wanted to! Wow! So I did finally put clothes on that night and called my children 3 hours before their New Years in CA. And I was happy, and they were happy because I was happy! I had finally made some progress and that was a good thing. There I was, I had managed to bring in 2011 with a smile! It was indeed a Happy New Year.
To Be Continued...
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| Back Together Again! My Grandmother's Home |
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| Martha Jane Holland Maxwell 6/10/1932 - 12/17/2010 |
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